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The Eclipse

New Music 2014

The 8 things I hate about relationships

Travels, visits and holidays


The Red Indian Above the Curtains

Football When I was a kid

Robots and Terminators

Ancient Greece

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heroes

Postcards In Books

Getting the train up to London recently, felt a bit like being in the library. Everyone was reading and I started thinking would the bookmark they use tell me more about the person then the book that caught their eye. A busy admin worker may use a pen, a teacher just fold the corners of a page. Would the traveller with a ‘what does my name mean’ bookmark be someone constantly trying to discover more about themselves. Would someone who uses a postcard or a photo have amazing memories, or a dreamer with places in the world they want to see.

These days lots of people now have Kindles. I remember when they were new on the market; my friend Tanya told me that every time she went for her lunch, people would say – ‘Oh is that a Kindle?’ She would then spend the rest of her break answering questions about how good it was and how it compared to a real book. She never got much reading done.

There are still the idealist, who stand by reading a real book. The Un-Revolutionists who would shun a electronic device or the inter-web-net for the feel of turning old pages and the excitement of delving further into a story. At my local library in Brighton they have story time for the kids, homework club and book signings with novelists talking about what motivated them and what they wanted to give to the reader. Recently Terry Pratchett visited to talk about his most recent Discworld Novel. The photos here are of a huge paper Dragon and the scales glued on to it are pictures that children and adults have drawn. The idea was to open the book to a random page, pick a word and draw or write something about it. The Dragon has now been hoisted up in the air – it looks Awesome!

A piece of advice given to me recently by my pal Hannah, was that when the Library gets boring – just find someone to play hide and seek with. But where would you hide? A random filing cupboard or a draw big enough to nestle down in? I reckon you would need to find a real dark, dingy corner to hide effectively, where they kept the boring old books.  Perhaps the answer is to just sit with a newspaper over your face in a crowd of people and try to look inconspicuous. I have been thinking for a few years now that the best place for a boy to take a girl to get to know them would be the Library. If you were meant to have fun it would be by messing around in such a simple place. Finding smutty words and rude sounding phrases to share with someone and try not to laugh too load. Interesting facts and pictures. The time would be spent pulling silly faces and doing ridiculous things.

To me the best date ever would be for me and a girl to put on our Ninja costumes, break into the library at night and steal the last pages of every single book. No longer would people be disappointed by how the story ends they could just make it up themselves. We would start a movement in society where everyone would burn the last page in every book and spotty teenagers would develop exotic wormy viruses that would sneak through the internet-web and kill every last paragraph. The Daily Mail would liken our society to Nazi Germany and Underground Gangs would no longer trade in drugs or guns because the last pages of books would be worth so much more. So if tomorrow you hear on the news about a library being broken into and the last page of every book stolen, then you will know two things. I finally had a really good date and that someone was just trying to set you and the rest of the world free!

This summer I was walking past a charity shop and I saw some ‘Choose your Own Adventure’ books  in the window; ones like my  two sisters had given me when I was a kid. The idea was that you choose how the story progresses and the ending was based on your own decisions. You could be a Spy, an Outlaw, a Mountain climber or just go and investigate a Spooky old house with some mates. Every so often the book would ask you to make a decision and divert you to another page. Would you go down into the basement of the Spooky house or just pussy out? When the Bear runs at you on the mountain top should you stand still, make a noise or run away. Personally I would start by craping myself, I can’t remember the answer so I should go back and buy the book just in case I get attacked by a Bear (if I ever go to Alaska). I should also let you know in a future blog.

Out of the 9 ‘Choose your own Adventures’ I saw in the window that day,  me and my sisters owned 7 of them. Strange? Could someone have bought my books at a car boot sale years ago and the exact copies were now there in that shop. I know there was someone who made the same bad decisions that I made. As a Spy they followed the attractive girl into a room and a Death Ray fried them, leaving only a shadow on the wall. I guess we’ve all been burnt in life in a similar way. Hopefully the reader got the chance to rescue Maid Marian from the Sheriff’s Tower like I did and they found out the Spooky House was nothing to be scared of after all. 

Our lives bring us to places where we have to make choices, some can be pretty big. It may take time to really understand what will make us happy and consider our options carefully. In life  you may have found the best characters, I have Awesome friends who have shown me what it means to be strong, they helped me find my way when I felt lost. Characters who have made me laugh till I felt sick and whose words have made me see the world differently. It’s the Coolest and most embarrassing thing to say to someone they mean a lot, so I rarely do. If you have friends in your life that support you this way, you are lucky and you have done a good job looking! They will support you no matter what! You're choices are part of learning and as such they are a gift

This may make perfect sense, if you are in a destructive or silly mood - Go and push over a shelf of books. Because only then will you have a very real concept of what life is about. It’s a mess! Pages and stories get caught up and damage each other, they maybe should have never been thrown together at all. But books can always be fixed. As you put things in order you can round up the books you want to have close. When you look back on your life the perfect moments you found will have been shared with different people, in a whole host of stories - good and bad. Learn, become resilient, stronger. Chaos can be the absolute best! You surround yourself with the people who mean something to you. Somewhere you will find your favourite book.

(Note: Do Not go and push over a shelf full of books – its dangerous and you will get in trouble. – it’s a metaphor)

Sometimes you will discover someone who is funny, kind, spontaneous, wild, all the things you try to be. My friends often tell me I am all of these, but I reckon I have a lot to learn from someone about those simple nutty things. Meeting up with someone on a date or making a new friend it can often be surprising to find someone who understands why you are so daft. The reason might be you have a lot in common or just luck that you get on so well. The truth from a boys perspective when you find someone you connect with - is that the girl sitting opposite is important and interesting. Every page you read meant you wanted to turn to the next…

Sticking your nose in a book can often be seen by others as a lonely experience, but you can always read a book together, with a person you have fun with. Life is about companionship, friendship and discovery. Reading is about getting to know about a place or a person a little better. These are the things that can change a life, an opportunity may come along that never will again. A chance to see where the Rabbit hole leads. In short  a New book can be an Amazing thing! Keep Reading

8 ZOMBIE JOKES for the Undead Stand Up Comedian

So I've been a Zombie for about 3 weeks now....I Love it! I do all my own Stunts. Ever since my mate Stuart pushed me out a window I've had a few problems walking, but other then that I feel Great! I'm out every night seeing friends for a bite to eat. Getting Shot, you know 'The Usual'

But being a Zombie doesn't pay the bills, so I'm thinking about doing some stand up comedy. Hope the jokes aren't too silly for you -

1. Hey Honey, I went into Zombie town to get that Shampoo you like. Cost me 'an arm and a leg!'

2. People say I've got my Mother's eyes... but I ate them

3. I tell ya, if I knew there was going to be a Zombie Apocalpse I would have surrounded my house in Treadmills

4. Just fed up of my Zombie girlfriend moaning all the time... pass me the shot gun.

5. Did you hear about the Dyslexic zombie... he ate my Brian

6. My Zombie Girlfriend jumps on me, every night when I come back from eating people. All she wants is Sex Sex Sex. I'm soooo tired and I just can't help dropping off now and then

7. What did the Zombie do after he dumped his Girlfriend... Wiped his Butt!

8. Met up with a cute Zombie girl the other night - she was all over me. Crazy! Next thing you know she's cooking me Legs for breakfast


Fin

Heroes